Discovering intelligence 3.0.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the skill an individual keeps  when he has the capacity to understand, control and choose those external emotional instincts which allow positive synergy.

In short, Susi Nieto defines emotional intelligence as the administrator of our emotions and those other people have. 

How to be an emotionally intelligent person?

Susi Nieto Barrio Nuevo displays in her analysis the different elements which are necessary to shape emotional intelligence, amongst them:

Self-consciousness, which allows us to know our emotions and their origin .

1.      Self-control, the ability to master stimuli to slow down the closest outcome.

2.      Sympathy, which is the link between our emotions and other people´s causes.

3.      Social abilities, which are the ability to develop and affective link between two or more people, solve disputes, express openly and justify ways of thinking by means of inducement.

Short term or long term emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence can be improved but it is important to keep in mind a group of circumstances which might harden or ease the process. Amongst them academics, genes and childhood can be found.

Training programmes can be useful but one study states that they can only increase one´s emotional intelligence at 25% and one´s social abilities at 50%. Besides, learning to control emotions can improve at 35%.

Another important factor which has not been mentioned above is the clash between our opinion about ourselves and the idea about ourselves cast to others.

“Many times the concept of ourselves is so spirited, that we tend to overrate ourselves more than we should”.

Thus, apart from training, we need an unbiased opinion about ourselves. It is advised as well to follow the strategies below to reach our goals.

1.      Cognitive Behavioural Therapy consists of opening our mind to other ways of thinking and show tolerance towards other behaviour ways. It is not wise to feel guilty of mistakes made since this does not make us wiser.

2.      Avoid positive self-confirmation since their goal is to develop self-esteem positively but they may bounce back resulting into narcissistic attitudes.